January 17, 2026

My Goodness.. Last night X took care of me. I had the day off, so I poured into Love, Lust & Lazuli. We were supposed to go the gun range, but his case was extended. I was disappointed but expressed little. I ache in silence, especially with a lover. He catches my scent though. He offered to cook dinner for me. I obliged. I picked up my sun; we were blessed with a ride home. I picked up herbs and incense. We headed home— which is next door to his. My sun was welcomed to play his video games. X made a deliciously cozy chicken pot pie. A hug to my heart. Nostalgic and so simple, and beyond me with a childlike ease. It was wonderful, even my sun liked it. I was able to make myself tea. I ate till full. Put my sun to bed.

 Within a few hours, I had wandered back over next door to him. I was soothed by the meal— ended up rocking myself while laying down trying to soothe further. The night was smooth and I was content. He noticed. He is observing me. He adores me. We held each other and I felt small and safe in his arms. He began to massage my back and legs – gripping whatever he could reach. He began to stretch my body. He pulled on my arms, and I felt like I was stretching my wings. Pressed his thumbs into my hands, tugging on each finger. I felt what it felt like for the body to trust—to believe it can melt. I did not have to think. He made my body do what he wanted and I let him.

I rolled around to face him. He wanted to do the other side. He pulled and pressed. We kissed. Kissing turned into something long awaited. More warmth. Everything about him is warm.

He planted kisses on my neck,

collarbone,

neck,

breast,

all over my back,

up and down my spine—everywhere. My moans were sonorous. I was gasping for memory. This is what I fantasized about. He planted kisses- everywhere. My breath was taken. He commanded me to lay on my back. I obliged. I am still in a hazy state of bliss and ecstasy. The things he did. How he touched me, how he took his time. He said he “knew it was going to be like this between us” while nuzzled between my thighs. I did not expect any of that, but I was delightfully surprised. I — my body lit up electrified. In ways I have only ever imagined. He did what I wanted him to do. He kissed my palm. This too stood out. He was waiting to do this. He was tender, gentle, strong, healthy. He asked for nothing.

Souls’ Teeth

i weave tension

as eyes made contact

as our stare shapes

fantasy and eruption

we are careless

we destroy out of delight

our passion with walls poured pride

we became one another’s prey

i am dancing on the world

you built it with the grit

between our souls’ teeth

The Shape of Listening

Learning how to let the image breathe. Practicing restraint, symbolism, space. Trusting simplicity more.

✶ handmade paper, sunprints, cinnamon bark, embroidery, glitter, fern clippings & cowerie shells ✶

June 15, 2024

My, my, my, X.
Wind-chimes braid themselves
up and down my core,
shivers down my spine, fingers spaced apart.
My center solidifies and my mind melts—
a proper malfunction…
.
Sometimes I wonder if he sees me.
I see him.
No pressure, no law.
I need X for certain things,
he needs me for certain things.
.
It won’t last,
I hold on to the now.
Let go.
Lean…
.
I think we can be good for each other.
I reject the law
that says only permanence has worth.
Connection is enough,
even if it shifts and dissolves.
.
Our fingertips touch—
flashing life, lust, tenderness.
I’ve never seen his eyes before.
I recognize his touch as my own.
I remember the caress of every lover.
.
I don’t know him
But his wild is my wild.
I honor what we are,
without demanding what we are not.
I want.. I don’t receive..
I’m too solid
There’s something I’d..
I can see..
If he falls

Crystal Clear Confusion

The center is a labyrinth.
We close our eyes to seek it
It likes to absorb itself
in hues of the abyss
Our fragments hide and seek
Bend at the pond
That foreign transparent center
Crystal clear as confusion

Flesh

She was
a woman of flesh
pacing
back and forth
softened down
till her belly aches
chaotic to escape
with everything to lose
and those summer blues
lived
to consume her
she
adored being consumed
after allowing herself
to turn stray
hmm
maybe someday

She Will Return

You’ve inflicted a wound
down the length of her spine.
Sabotaging the currents
to maintain her movements
give way to the wind.

With the immense distance it provides,
she will carry on.
Her skin sticks and glows a little,
glistens in the sunlight.

She’ll return
and destroy all that you are,
leaving behind
trails of ash and stains

By the Door of the Music Room

by the door of the music room
what does one do
when sound hums like prophecy
to the rhythm of one’s soul

spoiling all the way home
anointed with myrrh
a finger on the temple

what does one do
by the door of the music room