June 20th, 2021

Summer solstice

Depressive episode to balance the happy. Wishing to crawl back under my polished rock; or to be less dramatic, meet new people. People who look like me. Compliment me… Observe then indulge. Today I feel hopeless with human connection. Even X & X are not on the flow I can truly connect to. I just desire to be around people that are into authenticity, growth, and building, creating and making the world a better place. Trailblazers. Shadow workers who aim their arrow at the target. Same old complaint…

…My dreams have been violent. I’ve been mauled, attacked, chased. I’ve had to kill and watch love ones suffer. And my mood… Familiar faces all over this dream realm. Be conscious, keep caution. Pause. Observe. Trust my intuition…

…But I want to honor my feelings, put integration first. Suppression is a heavy betrayal. I called X to ask for advice. I received comfort in honoring myself. So I’m going to not betray myself while navigating my relationships with the ghosts of my past. I am a shadow worker, not moving out of pain but instead integrity, awareness and self respect.

Fields

Fragile Fields
speck of dust
seven dead stars
bright on earth
tough enough
dangerous
native fields
of rainbows
of blue lotus

sirens of the womb
being of severed sea
shifting soon as wonders of the world
as little sweet girls
forming fields and seven hills
fragile Fields
a fearful yield

Both

I agree

A prey in the belly of the beast
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
Nature vs. nurture
Both I guess
It all
she said

Wanting him to see
She was everything
The birds and the bees
Make believe
A bear and the cave
His giving when the giving got saved

January 26, 2017

“Why isn’t this normal” can be a hashtag or button in which you say or do something light or out of love. Asking ” Why isn’t this normal” for example like twirling in the park, dancing down the street, buying a stranger coffee or food, genuinely asking someone how they are doing. To serve as a reminder of the the little things and respecting human life. We’re really all in this together.

August 21, 2017

On the bright side I spent the afternoon with X; which was a savory escape into honest comfort , lifted my spirits and made me orgasm to the rattlings of freight trains rollin by, simply by …. It was wonderful, I felt it in my entire being, every blood cell, every inch of flesh and bone electrocuted and I felt it. It was blissful hanging in my van, caressing ,cuddling, and fondling. Great escape, the synchronicity is unreal.

Swim

To make love
To yourself
In everything you do
Liberation!
My sovereign child
Joy is everywhere
Passion
Life
At the tips of your fingers
Explore
Dive in!

Hunger

he consumed me
as his last breathe
savored my flesh
breakfast
lunch
dinner
and he loved me till my bones ached
are we not all worthy of somebody

Natural disaster

After the storm
He cries
Having no honor in his display

So she lays around lighting sage like it’s a cigarette
He sweats now not understanding
He likes to talk
She likes to walk
She pretends she doesn’t feel his stutters
And he denies she knows where he comes from
Not knowing himself from the outside
He is

A natural disaster