Being outside the world just to be
Play with me
Stay with me
Relax here oh God
In observation
You’ll be elated
Elevated named untouchable
Seen not touched
You’ll have enough
Bits and pieces wounds and stitches
You could need
In make believe
Being outside the world just to be
Prayer & knees
Help me see the truth
Honorable truth
Svāhā!
Help me find clouds comfort
rain forest peace and spring stability
Svāhā!
Help me become my true self; honor my Ori
Svāhā!
Help me learn my lesson the first time I am stung and broken
Never look back and never think twice unless you can feel the moons rejoicing
Svāhā!
Help me remain confidently strong and stronger as obstacles match success
Life is scary but I am a vulture
Svāhā!
Help me release my anger as sun passion alchemizing the rays and pains
Svāhā!
Help me mend my heart don’t let me fall apart
even if Im begging
Svāhā
In a year One, 27=9
Returning to self
Year One
Year Twenty-seven
Two plus seven equals nine
The beginning and the end of..
My heart/ My grief/ My loneliness/ My faith/ My integrity/ My trust/ Birthrights/ My abundance/ The empty/ The full/ My sovereignty/ This paranoia/ New softness n rest/ Introductions to hate/ reintroductions to self love/ Sowing seeds/ Reaping harvest/ My purpose/ More grief/ n Love/ n Discernment/ n Blunt honesty/ n Holding space/ Spring cleaning/ Clear paths/ Generational wealth/ Longevity/ Fertility
.
The soil is wet
I will follow me
And I pray to remain sane as I’m
Beginning, beginning
Always ending
Always purging and making space
What no longer serves me has no place in my presence
With ease
Filling me
Seeing
Me
In a shade never discovered
Most ain’t serving me
Most won’t save me
Like moths to a flame
Disclaiming, you may not be able to swallow what you see
But to see
Me
Learning and
Listening
Solitary
Moving gently cause Twenty-seven is sacred
Twenty-seven is pivotal
The turning point
Facing myself
Pricking myself
Peeling myself
Burning of self
Healing
Myself
And yet
I’ve never felt stronger
An aureate light
Fight before flight
Earning perineal roots & my grey hairs
I’ve never felt as whole
Within the peaceful madness
Grateful sadness
Chaotic order
I discovered
Myself
Here and now
For when you know yourself truly and deeply
You move different. You get to exist without a care in the world. You get to trust and believe in everything you are.
The magic
The prophecies
The soil
The tears
The sun
The blood
The moon
The rain
Actions done in vain
The angels and the saints
Velvet chairs
A seat at my table.
Flames, passion, rage, angst
Bloody and ripe
Burning, cleansing, sowing, forming
Alchemizing
I hope you may feel me
Be brave enough to touch
And be consumed
We create room for fires
Beliefs and passions
For this is what fuels life
We are alive
Are you alive
October 4, 2023
I feel a void here now more than ever.
Even though I’m a bit behind, Im quite rich. Going to plan to get back into donating. Hopefully I can find one closer to me.
I’ve surrendered though. Is ‘giving up’ synonymous? What if it’s my son and I forever. Honestly I think I’d be alright. What if I’m alone up here. My days have been good actually. Tomorrow he has a hearing appointment and we’ve been going to the library, he likes that.
I feel like the more I spend time with myself the further I float. Downloaded Instagram but only for about 15mins. I couldn’t stand it and despised the thoughts I was having. I quickly grew annoyed with the app and then annoyed with myself. The idea of social media is immature and consumerist based and it brings that out in me. I’ve been off all summer.
I’m just detached from summers heat and flings. Am I going somewhere. Do I even have a destination. I feel like my destination may simply be a feeling. Like once I feel safe I’d know I have made it. My body anyways. I wonder how long it takes for your nervous system to regulate. I feel most safe when I’m not partaking in the worldly world. I want to feel safe in the worldly world. I want to feel safe with someone.
Listen
Angels speak
I’ve warned you
Warning. Red. Alarmed. Gut.
Warning
Have a problem?
Confront yourself
Don’t pretend to forget
Don’t rely on other to remember
You are the pilot
Spirit knows what you know
And you know what you know
So hold oneself accordingly
Bear the flame you’ve created
Dance in it
Feed the seeds you sow with the ashes
Ain’t no one to blame but yourself; if one must
Catch a mirror, catch a blade
Capture the power of choice as you catch the sunrise
Our choices; we choose
What future are you voting for
With every breathe, each rising, every move
Every seed
As you’ve placed your opinions and judgements through the paths created
Everyday of the the rest of your life
You have placed your bets
You have created the paths
And ultimately
Believe it or not
You are in charge
Embrace it or fall in line
Lead or be lead
Freegrandmaa 