Tag: unrequited love

Posted on

Tranquil night

She was in search of a sign

A whisper, all knowing

As she laid, nuzzled in piles of his pillows and her sheets

Flooded with fire and fragile words

Every language, she thought

For once she could move with the world

That she could return to speaking sparrows and true crows feet would emerge from her soil

That her nurture was enough

Stormy nights brings fragility for the house of her soul

And so she sleeps a tranquil night

Posted on

You

The mystic, the wonder

The ending of my cycles

Severed as selfish stings of venom

It’s you

It’s you

You gave, oh yes you did

Fickle flavor created my taste

And as my appetite fluctuates

I choose to starve

Washed over in drought

Sand dunes and Florida watered illusions

I see you

I saw you

I thank you

Posted on

Forget

Forget

Let go

I’m confused, crippled as so

Our spring through and through

We passion

We shout

We quarrel

Over your bed of moss

It feels secure to love, risk lost

Forget

Let go

Posted on

Pink

Cotton pink undertones
Close by with gentle age
She was creamy, so soft
My eyes sparkled as we met
Pixie baby looking all confused
Going for a ride with mine
I sit silent
I study her magic
The way her skin rainbows
The concern in her delicate sweet face when I leave

Posted on

Winners war

I’m not sure of what I am feeling, my heart can break, my ego; callous
What keeps me asleep is a range to run
Emotional in wake I bake the sun
Holes of bittersweet spit up, you nuzzling my breast till numb
Turning in, on and off
Tuning off, out and in
I attempt to sing those sensitive songs, I pretend with oneself, playing once upon a time
There’s no where to go as my soul is magnetic to your salvation, even here the space of our bodies deafening
I don’t know exactly why this fight takes flight, ideal is a winners war; no casualties

Posted on

December 16, 2019

X grounds me. Like black tourmaline, my protector. My heart can’t take it.

I can’t help to think that X is purposely trying to take my peace. Sabotage me. Maybe it’s intentional, maybe it’s not, but I’m going to explode. Trying to figure out how to leave this situation. Being grateful for the space, but also it’s unhealthy. I am uncomfortable, and it’s difficult to enforce my boundaries. I need space from him. Not that I have to explain myself.

Why am I still here, I’m trying hard to not be. He does nothing, no passion, motive, drive. I’ve been sad, beating myself up for ending up here. I’m not happy nor comfortable. And I feel like it’s cause I’m not aligned. Something off.

Remember healing isn’t linear…

I think it’s crazy how my rape…

I know I haven’t healed…

X ain’t shit…

I will not fall in love with someone who doesn’t…

The masculine have alot of work to do.

They are so broken, twisted, toxic.

I also have to recognize that this is my perception, my experience, my reflection.

Only thing I can do is continue to work on myself. I wanna beat myself up for ignoring the signs.

I have all the answer within me.

I think I just need to cry.

Posted on

May 17, 2017

Last night brought me back. X and I talked on the phone for hours, just talking about our future together, our love and meeting each other. I was reminded of my biggest blessing and how real this is. I mean in less than a month I will meet X. I am so grateful I get to experience life with him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He pours so much unconditional love onto me. He validates my feelings, dreams, beliefs. I see us together and I know nothing else will matter because I have him. I know that we will get through everything and anything together. He remind me of my worth even if I don’t believe it. The love we have will touch lives. Yesterday I went back and reread our first messages and think about how it all started and how I was confused when I saw that days had passed by and he was still interested…