Tag: star-crossed lovers

Posted on

Stay

His gaze entranced my very soul

Forever, I yearned him to stay

Posted on

One hundred Lonely Years

One hundred lo lee years

hit the board again

be the white

read and read again

pull the tongue that licks the lips

hang em out by the sun

breaking with each moon

Posted on

January 21, 2024

I’m learning so much about my family since opening my home to my little sisters. It’s been hard but also a big opportunity to grow. Ive decided to recreate my role in my family. Moving away from being just the relatable safe big sister to accepting my role as the matriarch. I’m seeing first hand how these kids are being neglected by parents as well as the education system.

The kids are not the problem. Society is failing these kids.

Growing to be the bigger person to take on the role to guide instead of getting stuck in triggers and ego and allowing us all the remain stagnant. I’m realizing my siblings have no real home training and lack basic respect. I work hard to not blame them for what they haven’t been taught. I find joy at the same time in providing a safe space for them. Goodness though it’s hard being to others what you’ve never received but alas, the fate of the healer I suppose.

Posted on

Redefining

I’m a feathery thing

Unmotivated to motivated hues of humanity

My goal is sanity, real sanity

Blasphemous sanity

Pregnant and maybies now dont forget me

You remember my tosses and turns how I always never learned

Where you count your blessings and let things go

Baby don’t forget me

I’ll always know

Posted on

November 7, 2020

I rose. I watched him sleep

He rose. I sang grand risings.

He went to the bathroom. I sang so proud. He danced so proudly and stomped

I cleaned. He made a mess

We brushed our teeth

He drank water. I toke a shower. He came along to keep me company. We talked

I reminded myself that I didn’t own him and he remembered that he owned me…

We talked the whole time

Posted on

July 5, 2017

Yesterday I realized that hanging out with X’s family may not be the best idea. I’m numb around them often finding myself hurt I don’t have what X has. His daughter is what gets me. It reminds me of what I used to have with my father. Heart wrenching. How lucky is he to have all that. My father, I’ve been thinking about him non-stop since New York and watching X with his daughter brings up so much as watching any daughter being loved on by her father. I want a child. To feel important, relevant. To fix this. Typical right. I find myself unable to enjoy the presence of others. Wanting to spend all my days in my van like I used to.

X brings everything to surface. He can’t be pushed or deterred. He’s given me a love I’ve never experienced. I don’t think anyone understands what Im saying and how I think like he does. He can be very detrimental to my well being. He can bring me to the highest of highs, but also if I let him in and it doesn’t work out, he could be the death of me. A painfully beautiful death probably. I never would imagine. Love is hard to trust. I pray he’s not another….

I pray I get out beforehand if he does. I pray for strength an open heart. I pray for healing.