∆ Neural Alchemist | Self-mythologist ∆
If you’d prefer to sit there as I devour this holy pomegranate for my last meal
Then I wouldn’t bat an eyelash during grace
While the world is lovemaking to cope with flesh
I vow to touch the earth with the courtesy of life in mind
As you reflect the desert
Sandy and grit
The in-between
The more of the lesser
You’d be fine off asking yourself
Have you forgotten
And what are you willing to do to remember
Help me see the truth
Honorable truth
Svāhā!
Help me find clouds comfort
rain forest peace and spring stability
Svāhā!
Help me become my true self; honor my Ori
Svāhā!
Help me learn my lesson the first time I am stung and broken
Never look back and never think twice unless you can feel the moons rejoicing
Svāhā!
Help me remain confidently strong and stronger as obstacles match success
Life is scary but I am a vulture
Svāhā!
Help me release my anger as sun passion alchemizing the rays and pains
Svāhā!
Help me mend my heart don’t let me fall apart
even if Im begging
Svāhā
I see you everyday
How blessed are you
I’ve been preparing
Breaking a sweat
I’ve been waiting many lives
So I’ll be ready this time
Returning to self
Year One
Year Twenty-seven
Two plus seven equals nine
The beginning and the end of..
My heart/ My grief/ My loneliness/ My faith/ My integrity/ My trust/ Birthrights/ My abundance/ The empty/ The full/ My sovereignty/ This paranoia/ New softness n rest/ Introductions to hate/ reintroductions to self love/ Sowing seeds/ Reaping harvest/ My purpose/ More grief/ n Love/ n Discernment/ n Blunt honesty/ n Holding space/ Spring cleaning/ Clear paths/ Generational wealth/ Longevity/ Fertility
.
The soil is wet
I will follow me
And I pray to remain sane as I’m
Beginning, beginning
Always ending
Always purging and making space
What no longer serves me has no place in my presence
With ease
Filling me
Seeing
Me
In a shade never discovered
Most ain’t serving me
Most won’t save me
Like moths to a flame
Disclaiming, you may not be able to swallow what you see
But to see
Me
Learning and
Listening
Solitary
Moving gently cause Twenty-seven is sacred
Twenty-seven is pivotal
The turning point
Facing myself
Pricking myself
Peeling myself
Burning of self
Healing
Myself
And yet
I’ve never felt stronger
An aureate light
Fight before flight
Earning perineal roots & my grey hairs
I’ve never felt as whole
Within the peaceful madness
Grateful sadness
Chaotic order
I discovered
Myself
Here and now
For when you know yourself truly and deeply
You move different. You get to exist without a care in the world. You get to trust and believe in everything you are.
The magic
The prophecies
The soil
The tears
The sun
The blood
The moon
The rain
Actions done in vain
The angels and the saints
A seat at my table.
Flames, passion, rage, angst
Bloody and ripe
Burning, cleansing, sowing, forming
Alchemizing
I hope you may feel me
Be brave enough to touch
And be consumed
We create room for fires
Beliefs and passions
For this is what fuels life
We are alive
Are you alive
I don’t like to yell
But I love to break the silence
To penetrate
It’s the first breath
The tip of birth
And you can’t find that kind of moment in movement and stimulation
Go silent for a moment
Svāhā!
Climax
Hands full of prana
Roar through your pores in the safest place
Feel the goodness and the horror
Accept it and become more than vessel
I don’t need to yell through pressure when I’m molded because of it
I like to whisper and pray in my head by my lonesome next to a river under a bridge or something
I don’t want anyone to hear me either, not now it’s too late now
And jokester is my middle name
I got it from my father and they got yelling from our mother
But I
I don’t like to yell
Angels speak
I’ve warned you
Warning. Red. Alarmed. Gut.
Warning
Have a problem?
Confront yourself
Don’t pretend to forget
Don’t rely on other to remember
You are the pilot
Spirit knows what you know
And you know what you know
So hold oneself accordingly
Bear the flame you’ve created
Dance in it
Feed the seeds you sow with the ashes
Ain’t no one to blame but yourself; if one must
Catch a mirror, catch a blade
Capture the power of choice as you catch the sunrise
Our choices; we choose
What future are you voting for
With every breathe, each rising, every move
Every seed
As you’ve placed your opinions and judgements through the paths created
Everyday of the the rest of your life
You have placed your bets
You have created the paths
And ultimately
Believe it or not
You are in charge
Embrace it or fall in line
Lead or be lead
“Hmm. Ode to him. In another world I believe you were the love of my life, as I was the apple of your eye. Here, we stay dancing with the spirits of our multiverse. The ghosts of the past replaying within us. As love calls our names. Tethered. But not in the same, for here we sit touching our crisp layers, and saying a prayer to be seen. With nothing to say.
It’s not me.”
-It’s not you either.
“Ive never believed in love at first sight. I laughed in the face of the idea that someone could love someone like me.. at first glance? In one moment? Not a chance. My inner child until recently believed she wasn’t worthy. So much embedded within the coatings of my skin. But when he smiled, and I saw him alive, we would be, I humored the idea and seconded guessed it ever so slightly. And he would say those lil old things and my troubled self played the game. I often wonder was it real. Portal jumping? Never mind.”
-Harmony. Remember?
“Innocent. I remember
Together we became fire. Grounded together by the coals of our worlds. There together. Apart together.
I often played make believe and soft movies. Combined with his promises, his love tender lovin had me running. I played with the idea of him every time we meet, never as aligned. I’d like to believe the love was real, when life was being nice to us, when shit was sweet. When we were open and holding. I have videos of us in our cave. Another kind of us. Who knew co-creating a vessel and portaling a spirit would be so life altering.
Baby I felt his love before, that consistent type. When we cuddled like we’re meant to be. When we laughed and he felt like home. and I’d feel it every day.
But he didn’t hold up his end. He’s not ready to grow with the earth that has touched him. He’s not ready to twist and bend himself between the seams of his mind. To ripe at his own flesh with new hands, as he has mine. And what did I tell him? Oh to be afraid of death… Remember?”
This ode is more for me more so than him, or you, or you. Sitting tongue twisted and full of tears sipping tea with Heartache these days. my old friends! And time will heal and its Zen, just another storm now. it’s just when I’m alone and when he is near I think of him in bits and pieces. Done micro analyzing and compromising. Fuck it.
I wanted to know who you are.
But we’ve showed each other who we are.
Peace & Releasing myself from this cycle
The sun kisses my body and tells me he’s my new lover
be with me tenderly
leaving elegantly then
coming back home
always
to warm breath and my brown skin
I am now called to bask in my yoni
And her waters of tears and bloodshed
Soft flesh
Of my ancestors journeys
Gatekeeper of the Akashic records
Portal of all being
Abundant waterbed
All my power comes from you
Pours from you
Then you bleed with the moon
Holy and cleansed
Sacred and magical
Freegrandmaa 