From Long and Long Ago

I saw a monarch butterfly today
the second one I’ve seen all summer.
She met me in broad daylight,
amid a treacherous slumber.

Told me to listen. Just listen.
What you need lives in the air.
To float like me is to be far and near.

I remember you, I say.
You remember me? she asks
from long and long ago.

She offered me pine and mulberries
to savor in my dreams.
My heart was seen.

Saltblood Psalms

My deep breaths fuel my heart
Just one more night
After another
What a chore

A force of nature
To be here
To stay
To feel everything

A life of suffering—
I thrive off that shit
Like a brutal winter
My heart is raw and unfiltered

I dove deep to see her
The sacred red
Of the swallowed sea
She’ll find me
Begging
On plastered knees

She just wants to be safe
Satiated
Saved

October 18, 2023

Trying to remember how to forgive and be grateful to those who have caused me harm. They are my greatest teachers, though I pray for more gentle lessons, which I ensure by trying my best to learn and trust my intuition the first time. I will always choose peace, love, and safe spaces. I get it when they say “hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. I’ve drank that poison. I’m drinking it now, and also healing and actively retraining my brain to stop. It’s an irritating process that requires accountability and moral. Sometimes my ego tries to convince me to match energy. Don’t get me wrong I feel my real feelings and express. but when you know better, you do better, can’t sit in it for too long or it’ll consume you. I used to not mind being consumed, but it gets old when life goes on and you realize suffering is inevitable. Part of life, nature, balance. I vow to not be one of those hurt people that hurts people. Compassion is something one must continue to cultivate. It is a wisdom that contributes to a more positive community…. And now I remember.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”- Ghandi