you see
i know how to be
courteous,
a beggar;
believer
a star in the night
holding me
The One Who Stayed Grounded
He aroused me till numb
My heart sedated by his insanity
Caught me mid-revelation
Reaching for me at the height of his vision
.
I wanted him to come with me
But he wasn’t that type of guy
It pained him to watch me as I’d fly
Still front and center he’d release me wild
He ached to carry me whenever I fell
.
Rubbed me up with aloe vera
And intuitive kisses to heal
Wanted to make it well
Fading as I opened to it
Defeated in the win
So I held him also in sin.
I Try To Unwrite It
Sometimes I reread the poems I wrote for past lovers and feel like… this was too good for them. I try to take it back
Too tender. Too raw. Too sacred.
Bitterness shows up first.
Memory comes next.
With it the soft ache of truth.
I remember why I wrote it, the little universe we lived in for a while.
And I remember.
I remember it was theirs. Because a version of me meant it.
Even if they didn’t deserve the whole poem forever.
Some things are real just because they happened.
And some people get lucky enough to be written about.
The love was real, so was the poem.
So I give it back.
Held like something holy, by something holy
Collapsed
When I experience grief
I open and everything enters.
There is no space.
I’m suffocated by spirits.
I’m blotchy, dry, aching.
— from Repetitions of RuinÂ
(incantations from the same wound)
I Wore You
we had the same conversations like it was yesterday
i wore blue for days and days straight
i wore all my fibers as you
i knew you were blue too
i fasted
i was corrupt
you wouldn’t let my burn touch a thing
you laughed in the face of it
Opposites
Intention
She and I marry as she loosened her hair
I was warm between her legs
She was home
Welcoming
I loved to please her
I willingly submitted
She knew she was my baby
I knew how to make her come back
She was my intuition
Our whispering heads
Dancing heart
She played tug of war
Passioned
Me
I made love
She is my intention
Summer Love
Diver
The fire is live in me
I see the flames as they shift into you
One more time
The diver of my feelings
The hair on my arms dance for you
We remember
A moon cycle glanced your way
You made promises you kept
How I resent you for that
Freegrandmaa 