Prayer & knees

Help me see the truth

Honorable truth

Svāhā!

Help me find clouds comfort

rain forest peace and spring stability

Svāhā!

Help me become my true self; honor my Ori

Svāhā!

Help me learn my lesson the first time I am stung and broken

Never look back and never think twice unless you can feel the moons rejoicing

Svāhā!

Help me remain confidently strong and stronger as obstacles match success

Life is scary but I am a vulture

Svāhā!

Help me release my anger as sun passion alchemizing the rays and pains

Svāhā!

Help me mend my heart don’t let me fall apart

even if Im begging

Svāhā

In a year One, 27=9

Returning to self
Year One
Year Twenty-seven
Two plus seven equals nine
The beginning and the end of..
My heart/ My grief/ My loneliness/ My faith/ My integrity/ My trust/ Birthrights/ My abundance/ The empty/ The full/ My sovereignty/ This paranoia/ New softness n rest/ Introductions to hate/ reintroductions to self love/ Sowing seeds/ Reaping harvest/ My purpose/ More grief/ n Love/ n Discernment/ n Blunt honesty/ n Holding space/ Spring cleaning/ Clear paths/ Generational wealth/ Longevity/ Fertility
.
The soil is wet
I will follow me
And I pray to remain sane as I’m
Beginning, beginning
Always ending
Always purging and making space
What no longer serves me has no place in my presence
With ease
Filling me
Seeing
Me
In a shade never discovered
Most ain’t serving me
Most won’t save me
Like moths to a flame
Disclaiming, you may not be able to swallow what you see
But to see
Me
Learning and
Listening
Solitary
Moving gently cause Twenty-seven is sacred
Twenty-seven is pivotal
The turning point
Facing myself
Pricking myself
Peeling myself
Burning of self
Healing
Myself
And yet
I’ve never felt stronger
An aureate light
Fight before flight
Earning perineal roots & my grey hairs
I’ve never felt as whole
Within the peaceful madness
Grateful sadness
Chaotic order
I discovered
Myself
Here and now
For when you know yourself truly and deeply
You move different. You get to exist without a care in the world. You get to trust and believe in everything you are.
The magic
The prophecies
The soil
The tears
The sun
The blood
The moon
The rain
Actions done in vain
The angels and the saints

October 4, 2023

I feel a void here now more than ever.

Even though I’m a bit behind, Im quite rich. Going to plan to get back into donating. Hopefully I can find one closer to me.

I’ve surrendered though. Is ‘giving up’ synonymous? What if it’s my son and I forever. Honestly I think I’d be alright. What if I’m alone up here. My days have been good actually. Tomorrow he has a hearing appointment and we’ve been going to the library, he likes that.

I feel like the more I spend time with myself the further I float. Downloaded Instagram but only for about 15mins. I couldn’t stand it and despised the thoughts I was having. I quickly grew annoyed with the app and then annoyed with myself. The idea of social media is immature and consumerist based and it brings that out in me. I’ve been off all summer.

I’m just detached from summers heat and flings. Am I going somewhere. Do I even have a destination. I feel like my destination may simply be a feeling. Like once I feel safe I’d know I have made it. My body anyways. I wonder how long it takes for your nervous system to regulate. I feel most safe when I’m not partaking in the worldly world. I want to feel safe in the worldly world. I want to feel safe with someone.

September 24, 2022

I get hate for being an alchemist.

I’m surrounded by hurt people. Confused people. Boundaries. Know my limits. Become a recluse.

My abundance is my backbone. It’s what real love tastes like. Unconditional love. Chamomile and honey.

Calm waters. Strength. I know how it looks getting there and what it feels like. I taste it often. It surrounds me. I’ve felt the touch.

Seeking similarities. Taking risks but not to strike blood, not blind and never fooled.

Tap in or keep your distance, cause once ancestors makes moves we burn bridges with haste to protect ours.

Listen

Angels speak

I’ve warned you

Warning. Red. Alarmed. Gut.

Warning

Have a problem?

Confront yourself

Don’t pretend to forget

Don’t rely on other to remember

You are the pilot

Spirit knows what you know

And you know what you know

So hold oneself accordingly

Bear the flame you’ve created

Dance in it

Feed the seeds you sow with the ashes

Ain’t no one to blame but yourself; if one must

Catch a mirror, catch a blade

Capture the power of choice as you catch the sunrise

Our choices; we choose

What future are you voting for

With every breathe, each rising, every move

Every seed

As you’ve placed your opinions and judgements through the paths created

Everyday of the the rest of your life

You have placed your bets

You have created the paths

And ultimately

Believe it or not

You are in charge

Embrace it or fall in line

Lead or be lead

Reaching out to Ancient Roots

August 30, 2017

In a world of so many I find myself distant. To be hueman, I struggle to hold the capacity to grasp what that entails. Hmph, expectations. Hmph labels. So sure i’ll ask, am I hueman? My ancestors are you there? Growing up I’ve pondered over who you all were and if I resemble any before. I’m from a cluster of seven stars. Where my befores laid. I wonder if a Great has ever found themselves unattached and confused upon being birthed onto this earth. Did they just so happen upon Mama. A fellow wanderer, exhiled, a lotus flower. Oh I wish I knew who you all are. Perhaps we can exchange stories and mines would resemble yours. Or we’ll laugh the same, fall deeply alike, fiercely designed by our higher, each other perhaps. To touch the lineage, make connections and bonds to my roots. To see my roots.. Knowledge of my past is the only thing that can find me. That can make me believe that I’m here aligned. Speak to me. Allow me to meet you, acquire your personalities, your wisdom, your strength. I need to see me with my own eye. There are many of you so refrain from speaking all at once, but you have my undivided attention. How can we meet?