October 18, 2023

Trying to remember how to forgive and be grateful to those who have caused me harm. They are my greatest teachers, though I pray for more gentle lessons, which I ensure by trying my best to learn and trust my intuition the first time. I will always choose peace, love, and safe spaces. I get it when they say “hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. I’ve drank that poison. I’m drinking it now, and also healing and actively retraining my brain to stop. It’s an irritating process that requires accountability and moral. Sometimes my ego tries to convince me to match energy. Don’t get me wrong I feel my real feelings and express. but when you know better, you do better, can’t sit in it for too long or it’ll consume you. I used to not mind being consumed, but it gets old when life goes on and you realize suffering is inevitable. Part of life, nature, balance. I vow to not be one of those hurt people that hurts people. Compassion is something one must continue to cultivate. It is a wisdom that contributes to a more positive community…. And now I remember.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”- Ghandi

March 12, 2017

Remembering

Sometimes I catch a scent; smell something, and I remember having roommates for the first time. My own room. I used to paint my naked vessel and rejoice in what I thought was adulthood. Silly naive me.

Sometimes I hear a song. It takes me back. I feel my belly drop to my toes as my tear ducts instinctively fills up, releasing the sight of my being… In the psychiatric unit having a time. I’ve never felt so safe, so understood. I will never forget my time in X.

All the beautiful lost souls I met and loved. I pray they too found themselves again. My baby, I was so young. I used to feel so sad. I am free from all of that. Hurt, pain. I am sending love to my inner child always.

Text:

The heavens of womanhood.

Revelations of my souls essence.

Emerging ashes saturated in a deliciously delicate black hole of grit.

You know, the usual.

And you?

Nervous system

your mind is your weapon
do you have it
know how to use it
gather like minds
heal together
talk it through
cry
hold
find yourself
each other
commit and rebuild
brothers and sisters
descendants of the greatest warriors

Swim

To make love
To yourself
In everything you do
Liberation!
My sovereign child
Joy is everywhere
Passion
Life
At the tips of your fingers
Explore
Dive in!

Prayer & knees

Help me see the truth

Honorable truth

Svāhā!

Help me find clouds comfort

rain forest peace and spring stability

Svāhā!

Help me become my true self; honor my Ori

Svāhā!

Help me learn my lesson the first time I am stung and broken

Never look back and never think twice unless you can feel the moons rejoicing

Svāhā!

Help me remain confidently strong and stronger as obstacles match success

Life is scary but I am a vulture

Svāhā!

Help me release my anger as sun passion alchemizing the rays and pains

Svāhā!

Help me mend my heart don’t let me fall apart

even if Im begging

Svāhā