Winners war

I’m not sure of what I am feeling, my heart can break, my ego; callous
What keeps me asleep is a range to run
Emotional in wake I bake the sun
Holes of bittersweet spit up, you nuzzling my breast till numb
Turning in, on and off
Tuning off, out and in
I attempt to sing those sensitive songs, I pretend with oneself, playing once upon a time
There’s no where to go as my soul is magnetic to your salvation, even here the space of our bodies deafening
I don’t know exactly why this fight takes flight, ideal is a winners war; no casualties

Newness

What news!

The arrival

And the departure

Both equal in value and pleasure

To the adventurous wondering soul

September 3, 2016

I have the gift of my eyes for beauty and simple appreciation for nature. I feel connected just getting away from everything and being alone in it. I am always in disbelief over the most effortless things. The abundant ways the light hits a community of trees. The gentle sway of loyal leaves, the chirp songs of crickets paired with the watercolored sunrises. I get to find magic everywhere.

January 2, 2020

I prayed hard on my way to work.
Feeling at home while talking to source.
Connecting to source.
One day at a time?
One choice.
One decision.
Today at work I will eat my food and drink my tea.
I’m going to dance and write.
Open me up. Recreate. Revamp.
I have some thinking to do with the woman I want to be. I am holding space for all I am in every moment. Maybe this year I’ll find my niche.

I don’t want to get sexually and romantically distracted. At the same time I don’t want to shame myself for wanting to be intimate…I want to break free from the belief that I am only desired physically. I want to also hold that men are attracted to the physical first. It’s survival. I’m mad sexually appealing, healthy, and warm to look at and so it makes sense if that’s what pulls one in. I have programming that has made me unsafe with the idea of men being attracted to my physical and being lusted after. Which is honestly unfair, unreasonable, and ridiculous. I can sense lust and genuine interest in a second.

Ours

All passing

Is ours

Forever

From hand to hand

We pass the cup of eternal life

And you’ll know it well then

You’ll know then, it’ll live forever

Lay down a piece of heart

Of truth

Never dying in the game of death and rebirth

Connections

Connections aren’t clear as Babylon glitches. We’re here then we aren’t. It puts me off. So I limbo and toe the ground. Put my cheek on it, feel the heat.

It’s the earth. And she’ll make it up to me.