I placed a glass of water on my alter and prayed. This weekend without a phone. Silence. Mindfulness. Sadness. I finished the book X borrowed me “Celestine Prophecy”. It left me open and searching.
Right now I am numb, asexual, emotionally unavailable, confident, sure of myself and my experience. Validating this period. I feel as long as I can see my growth no matter how seemingly inconsequential. I have to temporarily cut off X and X for my sanity. It honestly just hurts to be disrespected from them both to the degree that they do. In retrospect life is great.
Milk
I appreciate the sweet coconuts milk
Cracked and melanated
It’s possible to picture it and paint the wars pretty pale
To paint the sky blue, to call it an ocean
Unmoving
I remember sitting down in an empty space
Unmoving on a cloud
I saw my future there
Declared it aloud
Finding my name is claiming myself
Flat Earth problems
Blue kyanite and amythst
Been seeing the future more frequently
Wrote them out a few songs
Play the world like it’s a CD
Flat earth problems
Ours
All passing
Is ours
Forever
From hand to hand
We pass the cup of eternal life
And you’ll know it well then
You’ll know then, it’ll live forever
Lay down a piece of heart
Of truth
Never dying in the game of death and rebirth
Him
I saw everyone I knew in him
A kaleidoscope of love, joy, and sin
A wanderers song
If you want me to be happy
Leave me alone to make my peace
Give me a little of that sweet juice
Some distance to walk at my pace
Some greenery a soft mellow breeze
Time permits us to freeze
Get lost in those tall wooden things
Just let me be
Make my piece peace
But
I told myself I’d have no tears for you
Would only hold space for you
But just one more for old times sake
For the sake of my ticker
For the savior of your soul
Hurt people hurt people
Godspeed as pain plagues the world
While stolen lovers lust for equality; for peace
Begging for rain
Claiming insanity
Shaming one from shining down
This time around the natural will abandon us
The truth will leave us
All removed
Stumbling riddlers will remain
January 15, 2023
I love deep feelings. Feelings that stops you in your tracks. Experiencing feelings with self awareness is even more enticing. I can do this dance and really put my foot in it. Really break a sweat. With the wisdoms of the future as a tether. Although the idea of becoming the crazy lady who wears mumus, cheetah print thongs, reads tea and palms and can tell when you’re lying but makes a game of playing along, is mad enticing.
Freegrandmaa 