Posts

Posted on

July 18, 2018

I am grateful to wake up. I am grateful for this watermelon. I am grateful for a toilet and clean water.

I am miserable. I want space from everyone. I’m tired of this life. How can I start over, how can I erase all that is. I’m sick of my lover. I’m tired of shitty; empty, fake ass people betraying myself and second chances. Let me not attract anyone. Let me say forget the world, I don’t want to share it with anyone.

I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to get to know anyone. I don’t want to make friends. I don’t want to be around anyone. I don’t want to.

Poor baby.

I’m sorry I’ve failed you.

I’m sorry I don’t really want you

not like I thought I did

most times not at all.

I have no one to talk to.

No one to hold me.

No one to understand or be here.

Posted on

Co creator

Don’t leave us, even as eye sleep

Even if eye weep

Eye surrender

There is no going back

Or staying trapped

Cause it’s all an illusion

And tonight once again, eye came to this conclusion

And eye called it awakening

Posted on

December 20, 2022

Reflecting often these days on what kind of frequency bald-headed me was on to have been playing with the entities she attracted, entertained, and kept around. However I am grateful she paid all that karmic debt, held it down gracefully, and survived.

I wouldn’t be here; or the woman I am today, without her. I’m over here like big sis, clearing house. Hella protective over us.

I feel her when I feel the anxious sensations throughout my body, I’m aware that those hesitations and sensations are her. And although personally I can’t relate I tend to her with tings like lemon balm, stretching, tea, family, silence….
I soothe her.

It’s okay lil mama, you’ll settle into trusting fully.

She’s peering over my shoulder; doe eyed and in a shy awe, when I flow in a way she’s never seen. When I move in a way she wouldn’t dare to. I must admit, we’re both on the edge of our seat as many cycles end and the worldly cycle concludes.