Author: Freegrandmaa

They say ignorance is bliss
From the outside
looking into me
my mind is a hell
I am a devoted dare
inside an alchemical burning
My mouth full of delirium
bathing in delirium

In her fantasy she’s no longer comfortable.
She can’t be here.
They don’t hold space for her.

Is it demented?
An illusion?
A fragment?

Heat pressed her
against a buried wall
she carried her sloppily
it was her turn
to flutter
over the jagged landscapes of abandonment
anchor the past
to the nape of my neck
it was our favorite spot to disappear
stretch
kiss

This is what I want — my loves and my sovereignty.
I told him to please behave so we can keep seeing each other. He promised he would. I hope it’s true.
I do things that make me feel good.
I love myself with explosions, tension, and discovery — endless discovery.
Making sure I put myself first.
I feel my inner and my outer all at once — walking anywhere, walking fields.
I feel it all the time, and it’s electrifying.
I can shape, mold, freestyle my life.
It’s magic — pure magic — crystallized in kaleidoscope light.
I felt the alignment of my insides, the bricks of my muscles stacking, solid.
I feel my infinite with every breath,
when I have his attention,
when he hangs on my trail of thoughts.
He whisked me away. He ran me a bath with oils and epsom salt.
I soaked. He brought me a pillow. I read.

I thought I knew you
but I only knew myself
I’m a selfish lover
I can spend a lot of time in my head
I can never know what I got till it’s gone
I didn’t understand
That’s what got me
maybe I was overthinking
imagining
tuning it to something I wanted
I get it

Bless the man

that fills my cup

as best as he can

nestling his lips into my palm

there is no end to his devotion

his raspy deep quiver

I breathe I’m

locomotive

criss cross

I drink sprite and brandy

He doesn’t understand me

but he can see

he notices

and nods at me

with a wink and an air kiss