Author: Freegrandmaa

why is it a shame

vulnerability, sensuality

it bestows

a rare euphoria in the proud moon light

why is it a shame

i ask my vessel not good enough to seek comfort within

to display aloud

like a new love

to the gods and the stars as appreciation

for through them i was pieced together

thought of

created

pieced together

in their hands

hold no shame, embrace the perfected craft that is you

dance freely in the day

but also

in the moonlight

when the stars and the planets turn and peek at the unique masterpiece in which you are

why do you allow it to matter

theses boxes we put each other in

how hard to see we are the same

we need air, nutrients, water, love

we were blessed with this world

my mother as well as yours

and so she cares for me

she provides me with a love like no other

and all she asks in return is to love our brother our sister

she grows the nutrients we need and the water rains down

air from the greens

and the love

we are to find in one another

just trust me its easy

and you’ll receive it right back

understand, feel empathy

feel your heart beat and your blood flow, and your skin gets all warm as it should be

why do we allow it to matter

theses boxes we put each other in

we misunderstand, we judge

forgetting its all a cycle and they no not what they do

its all learned behavior

and certain circumstances

that makes us all uniquely so

we all start a child absorbing it all

were taught get older and watch as people fall

pain, anger, judgement, is simply a mask of fear

and hurt people hurt people

in this cold world we’ve created are you surprised that we’re all fearful

of preparing to die, stressing to relieve ourselves of man made debt, comparing and being the best

why do we allow it to be this way

why is this how we choose to live

i ask questions because this life is draining

and i see the same on every face passing by

societies ways are breaking my heart

these boxes we put each other in

stopped us before we could start.

No one ever told me it would be like this. I am driving my heart is pounding. throat dry, take a hit. my vessel shakes. the inside of my thighs suffer from vicious tremors. as my stomach tightens like a volcano, i felt it rise. i sobbed

No one ever told me it was so intricate. that emotions are real and so is abuse. and the scars formed by jumbled lost letters. so what good is a relationship anyways. i never heard about lust like i feel it. lust is more than wanting to fuck, and then fucking. i be thirsty to be touched, caresses and no it doesn’t have to be love. i just want your hands.

No one told me how quickly you can find yourself tied down, and how eager id be to be cut loose.

Im addicted to stimulation, just recovered, just relapsed.

I dont want to fuck you

rub my back

i dont want to fuck you

change the song

i. dont. want. to. fuck. you.

dont be like this

No one ever talked about this confusion, self control, confusion as i looked into his eyes and thought of another. I used you for attention, you used me cause i was your fetish.

I dont want to fuck you, but you did, and i’ll stay, and allow you to hold me after.

please excuse the broken winged messenger

due to a vulnerability that clouded my sight 

but your radiance gave it away

your. direction. 

your. time

its all sublime

roots of that stolen cotton swells within my throat as i stomach your false truth. 

you see you cannot hide from me, like me from you

i wont allow you to see it in my eyes

i wont allow you to hear it in my voice

you cant taste it on my skin as i do with you

your mask is crooked and chip 

and i only wish to rip it off to reveal 

the retired magician within the midst of his disastrous last trick

all that status 

and for what

to shrivel away on the worldly stage of hopeless deceit and lies

why must you insist on picking up that retched dagger strong and made to kill all that is 

all that was

becoming

worthless nights

wasteful words

and bloody hands

the violent violets hidden beneath the crooked steps

the grey grays lingers in worry for its return

never looking back

to take stance against the provoking

as drunken gods cry under the mercy of thick clouds

and translucent silhouettes bids a farewell

go back back from whence thy come

no rest no sorrow

in desolation blue blues breaks and their tear ducts releases

to create a cascade to take the wretched colors once more

its been a while

since the last drop

the sun has risen much to many

from when it was then

at once

the hairs became grass pieces on hilltops that wouldnt move unless they wanted to

and once it hit the shores and tasted the salt in the waves

they knew at once the thunder and lightning strikes were only meant to

feed them

and to confirm their reasons

compare the two and hold

them both side by side

unknowingly committing

faulty realizations

and bias presumptions

set down the rock and return them to their place 

move along

with but only the dirt within your grip

these empty highways are a remedy to the trouble mind

as the golden yolk vanished consumed by the airy sea line

thereafter a message floated downward

wisdom from the higher

and slowly it purified my senses, cleansed my whole

like sandy shores my mind was gently grazed by the love of the ocean waves

why feel loneliness

why disconnect

then before my eyes. the windshield began to mimic a mirror

it revealed what was believed to be a world of the vicious, the canines starving

and the engraved deception i willingly toke

a detrimental illusion was what surrounded me as i stood in the middle

as my vessel laid in tremor in front of broken glass

shuting my eyelids feeling truth

slowly the vicious,

and the starving dissipated

and left behind the worlds reality

the love i deny

the ones ive forgotten

the lives never pursued

the root of this fate. fear

oh how my mind has betrayed me

time and time again

off you go in silence you wait

while i paint new scenes in hues of red

and fluttering black butterflys

leaving the illusion to rot in itself

and he stood strong as if he was the tree of life

parading around waving his flag like he was someone savior

like he could form cobwebs and sensations

as they wonder what his secret was

he slumps over broken egg shells and crumpled leaves he left behind

and as the flies consumed their pieces

it trails a lingering falseness in his walk

the roots saturated in confusion

who will he ever save