before it had a coverit had a pulse
every clean page in the bookhas a wild ancestor
I write
“I don’t write logically.. I write viscerally.”
Love, Lust & Lazuli
Poetry by Freegrandmaa
http://Love, Lust & Lazuli
Poetry by Freegrandmaa
Love, Lust & Lazuli Is Here — A Book for the Lovers the Holiday Forgot
Hardcover and paperback are available now via Lulu.
🕯️ Signed / special editions are available directly through me.
Amazon availability is coming soon.
👉 Read more or get your copy here:
https://freegrandmaa.com/love-lust-lazuli-2/
Blessings to everyone holding my work with care.
On Valentine’s Day, a book was born.
Not a fairytale.
Not a love manual.
Not a tidy story with a happy ending.
But something far more honest.
Love, Lust & Lazuli is a poetic triptych — three panels of the same soul moving through devotion, desire, grief, hunger, memory, and rebirth. It is the record of loving deeply enough to be changed by it.
What began years ago as survival writing has become something closer to scripture — not sacred because it is pure, but sacred because it tells the truth.
This book is for:
• the ones who love intensely
• the ones who lose and keep loving anyway
• the ones who have outgrown old selves and old stories
• the ones who feel too much and refuse to numb it
• the lovers the holiday forgot
Inside these pages, tenderness and ferocity live side by side. Desire is not sanitized. Grief is not rushed. Healing is not simplified.
Each section can stand alone like a gallery piece, yet together they form a single portrait — a body, a psyche, a heart in motion.
Language becomes spellwork.
The page becomes altar.
Memory becomes material for transformation.
This is not a book you skim.
It is a book you sit with.
Return to.
Carry.
Argue with.
Underline.
Close because it hit too close.
Weak Bones
A safe space
that gives you no choice
but to surrender
Slowly
Surly
Full of futile resistance
I’m nothing
but weak bones
and fevered wantings
Fantasy Exile
In her fantasy she’s no longer comfortable,
she can’t be here.
They don’t hold space for her.
Oh iridescent flesh,
what do you reveal of me.
Indestructible Lover
I let go
So I reaped what I sowed
Indestructible lover
Never let me go
Your closer than home
When I’m alone
I Let Him
This one he
He was my strong lover
He made my body do
what he wanted it to do
and I let him
Neighbor
Leave the door open
I’m sweet, tender, soft spoken
I dance in bits and rows
You’re closer than home
When I’m alone
The wall became our pitter patter phone
You’re next door
Strong so
I’m free to rome
Swollen Ticker
Self-devotion
my loving swollen ticker
what remains after desire fades?
Freegrandmaa 